By day, she's a cute, 'lil fluffy doggie sitting in the windowpane that everyone loves to hug & fuss over, and always eager to please.
However when her fur gets ruffled all too often, she transforms into a wild kitty who bites when her tail gets stepped on repetitively...
and goes out for night escapades once in a blue moon.
Blogs occasionally for the bite,
so that she can heal her pain.
I love nature, lavender & pretty blooms..
I love sweet shades of pink & purple,
with a passion for warm brown & red..
I love enjoying my comforting cup of hot cocoa / tea sans sugar / milk tea or coffee / durin' tête-à-tête sessions. =)
So do I love good food, sinfully decadent desserts, chi chi high teas, sippin' wine & cocktails in the evening breeze amid soothing, soulful jazz and sexy, funky disco house music... with good company, of coz...
Admittedly a creature of habit & comfort...
Simple things such as laughin' over a good movie to escape from mundane reality, sweatin' off the negative vibes unglamourously, pickin' up an engagin' read on a lazy day, with my dog restin' at my feet, havin' a warm cup of cocoa on a rainy day indoors, indulgin' excessively in creamy choc pralines & truffles, spendin' time outdoors with nature... lush greenery & aquamarine sea, taking snapshots of things and people for memories, meetin' happy & fluffy doggies...
make me happy too... some good ol' music / retail therapy for the soul helps too... =p
Sittin' atop the hill... watchin' the world pass by... the flutterin' leaves & flowers in the breeze... onward on the journey i continue... smellin' the freshness of the air... awaitin' the next scenery at the next hilltop in anticipation... which will take my breath away... & invigorate my senses...
Contrary to popular belief, I am not the owner of all the free time & luxury in the world. There's such a thing called opportunity cost & choices have to be made. Choices that seem easier to make than to live with in reality. Lookin' at just the surface is just being simply superficial.
In today's world, where boundaries between reality and illusions are blurred, genuine sincerity is hard to find.
There's a thin line between sanity and insanity.
Believes that the world not only exists in black and white, but also in different shades of greys....
Adele ~ Chasing Pavements A lovely song full of soulful character that sis gene [correction: should be mojo jojo] told me about... ;) check out the cool mv...
I've made up my mind, No need to think it over, If i'm wrong I aint right, No need to look no further, This ain't lust, This is love but,
If i tell the world, I'll never say enough, Cause it was not said to you, And that's exactly what i need to do, If i'm in love with you,
Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste? Even If i knew my place should i leave it there? Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere
I'd build myself up, And fly around in circles, Wait then as my heart drops, and my back begins to tingle finally could this be it
Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste? Even If i knew my place should i leave it there? Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere
Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste? Even If i knew my place should i leave it there? Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere
梁静茹 ~ 会呼吸的痛
在东京铁塔 第一次眺望 看灯火模仿 坠落的星光 我终於到达 但却更悲伤 一个人完成 我们的梦想
你总说 时间还很多 你可以等我 以前我不懂得 未必明天 就有以后
想念是会呼吸的痛 它活在我身上所有角落 哼你爱的歌会痛 看你的信会痛 连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛 它流在血液中来回滚动 后悔不贴心会痛 恨不懂你会痛 想见不能见最痛
没看你脸上 张扬过哀伤 那是种多么 寂寞的倔强 你拆了城墙 让我去流浪 在原地等我 把自己捆绑
你没说 你也会软弱 需要依赖我 我就装不晓得 自由移动 自我地过
想念是会呼吸的痛 它活在我身上所有角落 哼你爱的歌会痛 看你的信会痛 连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛 它流在血液中来回滚动 后悔不贴心会痛 恨不懂你会痛 想见不能见最痛
我发誓不再说谎了 多爱你就会抱你多紧的 我的微笑都假了 灵魂像飘浮着 你在就好了
我发誓不让你等候 陪你做想做的无论什么 我越来越像贝壳 怕心被人触碰 你回来那就好了
能重来那就好了
Finally, the anticipated drama, Forensic Heroes II with some of my fav actors and actresses is on! Caught an episode recently, ending with a poignant loss of a loved one... and accompanied by this song... it's not particularly nice on its own.. but somehow it fits the moment in the drama so well that I could not help but feel sad for the characters... have a listen... you are my angel. =)
Loretta Chow 周美欣 - You Are My Angel (TVB's Forensic Heroes II)
Once upon a time Archangel in the sky Made a cover every night
Once upon a time The angel loved me so It’s a miracle In the snow, my heart won't be cold
My Dear You are my angel Tell me what you know Something should be told
My Dear You are my angel Tell me where you go I will prance behind your flow
Once upon a time My angel gave me life
Kept hearing this song playing on cable telly and it really brought back primary school nostalgia... those good ol' days of childhood innocence and music lessons with the oldies such as this and "Morning Has Broken"... Sometimes, old is gold... So let's go back to yesterday once more... =)
The Carpenters ~ Yesterday Once More (TVB's Speech Of Silence)
When I was young I'd listen to the radio Waitin' for my favorite songs When they played I'd sing along It made me smile.
Those were such happy times And not so long ago How I wondered where they'd gone But they're back again Just like a long lost friend All the songs I loved so well.
Every Sha-la-la-la Every Wo-o-wo-o Still shines Every shing-a-ling-a-ling That they're startin' to sing's So fine.
When they get to the part Where he's breakin' her heart It can really make me cry Just like before It's yesterday once more.
Lookin' back on how it was In years gone by And the good times that I had Makes today seem rather sad So much has changed.
It was songs of love that I would sing to then And I'd memorize each word Those old melodies Still sound so good to me As they melt the years away.
Every Sha-la-la-la Every Wo-o-wo-o Still shines Every shing-a-ling-a-ling That they're startin' to sing's So fine.
All my best memories Come back clearly to me Some can even make me cry.
Just like before It's yesterday once more.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Joanna Wang 王若琳 ~ The Best Mistake I've Ever Made
One step too far 多走了一步 All at once I'm falling 我的情感失控 Just like a star 像一顆星 I'm burning for you 我為你發光發熱 Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way 自以為可以逃避這樣的感覺 I guess that was my first mistake 我猜那就是我的第一個錯誤
Cause suddenly I'm walking 突然間 我穿過幽暗的街道 Down a dark street to your door 走到你的門前 Wanting you is driving me insane 對你的渴望讓我瘋狂 And now my feet are standing 如今我來到了一個 Where they've never stood before 未曾去過的地方 Guided by a twist of fate 是命運的安排
If I lose myself with you tonight 如果今夜我和你一起失陷 Fall apart or hold on tight 分手或是相守 Wrong or right 對或錯 I won't be afraid 我都不會害怕 Cause even if my heart should break 就算會心碎 我也無所謂 You'd be the best mistake I ever made 因為你是我犯下最美麗的錯誤
I'm in your room 我就站在你的房間裡 Now there's no denying What's in your eyes 你的眼神 也無法掩飾 When I look at you 當我看著你 Two shadows talking but they don't make a sound 我們的影子無聲的傾訴著 Words have lost their meaning now 所有言語 都失去意義
And the air has turned electric 愛的氣氛四處瀰漫 Now I know the time is right 愛的時機已經來臨 To put myself into your hands 將我自己交給你 And suddenly I'm shaking 突然間 我全身顫抖 As your fingers touch my skin 當你的指尖滑過我的肌膚 I don't need to understand 一切盡在不言中
And if tomorrow proves me wrong 如果明天能證明錯的人是我 I swear I don't belong 我發誓我若不屬於你 I know I'll carry on 我會好好往前走
So I will lose myself and bare my soul 所以我獻上赤裸的靈魂 Take this chance cause heaven knows 冒個險吧 因為天知道 I'm so far gone, my choice is made 在我心中早已作了決定 And even if my heart should break 就算會心碎 我也無所謂
When I lose myself with you tonight 如果今夜我和你一起失陷 Fall apart or hold on tight 分手或是相守 Wrong or right 對或錯 I'll always say 我一定會說 You're the best mistake I ever made 你是我犯下最美麗的錯誤
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Playin on the radio on this rainy, wet evening... one of my classic favs...
Boyz II Men ~ End Of The Road
Girl you know we belong together I have no time for you to be playing With my heart like this You'll be mine forever baby, you just see
We belong together And you know that I'm right Why do you play with my heart, Why do you play with my mind?
Said we'd be forever Said it'd never die How could you love me and leave me And never say good-bye?
Well I can't sleep at night without holding you tight Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry Pain in my head oh I'd rather be dead Spinnin' around and around
Although we've come to the end of the road Still I can't let you go It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you Come to the end of the road Still I can't let you go It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Girl, I know you really love me, You just don't realize You've never been there before It's only your first time
Maybe I'll forgive you, hmm Maybe you'll try We should be happy together Forever, you and I
Could you love me again like you loved me before This time I want you to love me much more This time instead just come to my bed And baby just don't let me go
Girl, I'm here for you All those times of night when you just hurt me And just ran out with that other fella Baby I knew about it, I just didn't care You just don't understand how much I love you do you? I'm here for you
I'm not out to go out and cheat on you all night Just like you did baby but that's all right Hey, I love you anyway And I'm still gonna be here for you 'till my dying day baby Right now, I'm just in so much pain baby Cuz you just won't come back to me Will you? Just come back to me
Yes baby my heart is lonely My heart hurts baby Yes I feel pain too Baby please
This time instead just come to my bed And baby just don't let me go
Saturday, March 14, 2009
It's 2.40am.... early morning... it's been a week of great communication and conversation with old & new friends.... a week of feeling sick and dehydrated... and an emotional upheaval too... I am sick & sick of being upset.
I recognise that I've changed. I recognise that some dynamics have changed. I recognise how stubbornly I've been holding on. I recognise for sure now that all this while, it's been a misfit. I've been shoving my feet insistently into a pair of shoes that does not fit me, for the wrong reasons... even though I do not love this pair of shoes enough anymore to feel like wanting to buy them.
A pair that seemed to have stable heels that gave me a sense of security at first... a pair that seemed to be different from all the shiny patent ones that I've seen so far... but maybe the material used is too hard for my delicate feet... which in turn makes them hurt in silent pain... the material's too rigid to ever contour nicely to my feet... or maybe I find the shoes too simple & matte now... I want to find a pair that's presentable enough for work, but yet comfortable enough for leisure... not something that only spells W-O-R-K all over it! I've decided to discard it to find the right fit... no point tormenting myself! Just like how Jimmy Choos ain't for everyone... the hefty price tag just ain't worth all the huge blisters I'll get! I will not be able to take it in the long run and just fall down the stairs. Misery should not be self-created. Yes, indeed. "I do have a choice." Suddenly, the shoe shop seems so big! =p No more time to waste!
I will not be forced to change just to meet someone's expectations and be on the same frequency as that person. If you're not comfortable with the concept of "me", you can forget about it.
P.S I am grateful for the friends who can really understand my mind, heart and soul! Thanks, Bestie & Bother... our friendship is indeed priceless, just like a glass of warm milk. =) * goes to sleep with a comforted soul *
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
It's been a while since I've blogged.... been busy with my mock papers... all the stress and stomach distress drove me nutzz... this time.. I had it really bad... but luckily... it's so much better after a trial and error marathon of medication... helps that I had lotsa encouragement from my dearest friends whom I appreciate a lot... =) Though my preparation's pretty last minute (as usual)... this time, I feel pretty satisfied that I did study hard for it! Now to prepare for the real thang!
Nevertheless, managed to catch a few movies.. the most recent ones being 'Changeling', 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' and 'He's Just Not That Into You'... Changeling gives a feeling of a woman's courage amidst despair... a show which I've enjoyed with Angelina Jolie's poignant acting, but left me wanting for no tears... next up.. I watched Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button... somehow I could really relate to the show and felt so sad for him... I also do not know what in the show really hit me... it literally worked out my tear ducts =p.... I guess it's touching when a woman not related to you by blood or skin colour is willing to love you, the peculiar child, just like her own child... and that it's really sad when some things cannot be helped in life and you just have to give up something or someone you really love, for that person's sake. As for the last one... it's a really hilarious movie that left me laughing in stitches.. I could feel the audience's empathy and and amusement at the dating mistakes being displayed in the show... it might be a little over-exaggerated, but I guess we can all relate to some of the traits and mistakes we've made in the show... heee.... HE"S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, my dear friends! =p ... 'Marley & Me' and 'Slumdog Millionaire' are still on my waiting list!
Had a great time on Saturday... I think I have not laughed so hard and so much for a long while.... everyone looked and sounded pretty cranky, but hey, that's the whole point of it right? To destress from the mundane life we have and have FUN! It's a pure waste of money if you do not enjoy yourself... Thanks for all the fun and laughter! =)
On a bluer note... I've been feeling bothered... I could not sleep well for 2 nights and I've been trying to shake off this feeling of confusion, but I can't... so hence, I turn to here again...
It's strange how sometimes timing can affect the outcome of events or how you feel towards a person or object... It's like I've always thought I wanted this, but just when it seems like things are improving... when I'm closer to getting it, I am confused about what do I really want... my feelings about something might have changed over time... maybe I've been holding on to an empty illusion all this while... I just feel a little saddened and confused that I feel this way now... I wish I could turn back the clock... but I can't... maybe sometimes, there's really nothing left to save... when we're better off leading our separate lives... or maybe there still is... just that we all need time to start from scratch... I seem to be much more open about new encounters now but yet, I guess I'm still reluctant to let go of some things... stubborn contradictions just define my path in life so far... I have the tendency to follow what my heart tells me to do... but sometimes, is that the right way to go? Maybe we've been looking for love in the wrong places...
Seriously, I do not know... all I know is that I shall just see how things develop over time... having said that... exams are still priority for me... it's something I have to do for myself.. in order to move on and find something more fulfilling in life to do...
Another issue bothering me is the point of friendship, something that I've written about more than once... something that I've allowed myself to be more bothered about than I should have been coz it's totally not worth it... In fact, I've put all the unhappiness behind me, but this issue has cropped up yet again recently. Maybe I do sound excessively whiny / petty but I cannot believe some people are still the same, oblivious to all that had actually happened and still having the cheek to bear old grudges against me... well, through the hard way, I've learnt to be heartless towards heartless friends who are self-centred and are unhappy when the world's not revolving around them... people who fail to see the big picture and can only take their own happiness / unhappiness into account... forgetting what a gift it is to make others happy too in return by doing nice and sincere stuff.. forgetting it's not nice to blame people who sacrificed a lot to do most of the work just for your sake... forgetting your own part in the whole play of events too... forgetting it's not a very nice thing to pull a black face on a dear friend's happy day... forgetting that they are not "the universe"... forgetting it's not very nice to bitch about your friends behind their backs... seems like the norm of reciprocity does not apply to some... can such people still be called "FRIENDS", I wonder?
To sum it up, if you treat me just as an ordinary friend, do not expect me to do extraordinary things for you, especially when I've got high probability of being blamed... maybe it's all an misunderstanding... maybe everyone's pride have had been too strong... maybe some people are really that blur with a biased sense of perception... maybe it has never been true friendship... but no matter what, I've learnt my lesson, big time... focus on the right people and things!
Phew... got it outta my system.. and it feels great! I have really gotten my ample R&R yesterday and today... coupled with a jog, and maybe with some suntanning tomorrow... I'll be happy as a bird again.... lalala... =p and looking only ahead, even with all the bird shit in my path!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
If I had one wish...
Here's my wishlist... I don't need a lot of wishes coz I'll be okay if I get one...
I need peace of mind. I need to be focused. I need no distractions.
I need a new phone that does not suddenly break down on me. I need new track shoes to continue spinning around the track. I need a new pencilcase for my upcoming exams.
I want a new handbag & wallet for all my barang barang. I wantto save more, ironically. I wanta new lease of life.
I wish to chill-out by the trees & sea, having my hair blown all messy. I wish to smell the fresh air and blooms, in essence, nature. I wishto be pampered suitably, not too little, not too much. I wish to let loose and have some fun. I wish to relax my soul. I wish to be happier.
I don't wanna go into something that makes me uncomfortable. I don't wanna accept something for the wrong reasons. I don't wanna end up with a likely bad outcome. I don't wanna go back the same way. I don't wanna hurt myself & others.
For those who have wished to know...
I want someone: With a great sunshine smile which makes me forget my worries. Who complements my flaws just as well as how I complement his. Who can motivate me to do what I'll normally procrastinate about. Who can understand me inside out without me saying a word. Who makes me feel comfortable and accepts me 100%. Who's driven, but yet passionate about balance in life. Who knows just how to cheer me up when I am down. Who's not overly-emotional, but yet does not think it's wimpish to cry when it really hurts at times. Who's mature, but acts like a kid occasionally. Who connects with me on different levels. Who'll be by my side come what may. Who loves the sun, beach & animals. Who's sincere and optimistic. Who makes me laugh.
I don't want & need someone: Who's all bling on the outside, but possesses no substance inside. Who asks what I can give him, instead of what he can give me. Who's nice to me not becoz he cares, but coz of his own agenda. Who finds it beyond himself to do nice stuff for others. Who thinks that money & ambition's all-encompassing. Who's too preoccupied with himself & his own life. Who does not mean his sorrys & what he says. Who makes me mostly more sad than happy. Who lacks initiative & is totally insensitive. Who can be a complete asshole at times. Who does not believe in love anymore. Who has totally no faith in me.
I wanna take up the job, but I can't? I wanna go on to lead the life I truly desire. I wanna think fate is kind to me after all. I wanna think I'm not asking for the stars. =p
I want. I need. I wish... and I hope. I am a contradiction.
Count backwards 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Before you get too heated You should have learned your lessons all them times before, You've been bruised, you've been broken
Then there's my mind saying think before you go, Through that door that could lead you to nowhere, Has got you all romantic, crazy in your head, You think I'd listen, no I don't care
Can't focus I can't stop, You got me spinning round, round, round, round (like a record), Can't focus, it's too hot. You'll never get to Heaven if you're scared of getting high
My conscience saying, get down off the streets, It's too dangerous and deadly, Has got you talking round in circles can't you see
And as my friends say, stop before you fall, I don't wanna pick you up again, Has got you all romantic, crazier each day, You think I'd listen, there's no way
Can't focus I can't stop, You got me spinning round, round, round, round (like a record), Can't focus, it's too hot. You'll never get to Heaven if you're scared of getting high
Friday, February 6, 2009
Time just flew over the cuckoo's nest... hectic lunar niu year came (was so tiring and fun with all the birthdays, springcleaning & visitations!) and now it's already february... which means it's only 14 weeks away from my exams... I guess at this point of time, I cannot be distracted. Maybe Heaven's testing my willpower... something always happens at the last minute... and I always do things last minute! haha... (I was also born in the last few minutes of the year... =p)
Had a good talk over dinner & yet another a.m coffee session with couzzy... thanks for listening and being so patient even though you have work the next day... =) It feels so much better now... phew... thanks too to my dear friends who constantly remind me about what I really want and need ultimately in life... I know it's all for my own good... but believe me when I say I am stronger than what I look like... I've hardened myself against manipulation... may I have the strength to carry on & I just wish I will not be swayed by you so easily again... I know deep down, you are still the same...
Talk about spot on gut instincts! It's scary.... it's the second time... bumping into A the moment I mention his name... it's been a while and he still loves to make people laugh... what a humourous guy! Miss those days in office...
Not to mention bumping into a few fake mccoys... hahaha.... it's becoming a comical joke... mention a name and a lookalike turns around the corner! Be careful of what you wish for... u might just get it... =p Ahh... we spotted a local celeb too.. with an ego problem... because he constantly noticed our attention on him... =p Ahhh... wassup with chance encounters of late? I keep bumping into familiar faces!
Sometimes, it's funny how a stranger can light up your day... with just a great smile and light conversation... I realised you can make friends anywhere as long as you are open to people... in the lecture hall, when you're downstairs dogwalking and even in the cab! Wonder if by a brush of fate, will I get to see you again?
I hope for better days with peace of mind ahead... maybe a dose of mother nature / lavender will help me... together with a new pillow! * down with stomach flu & a serious neck-ache * In the meanwhile, nothing matters more than you, my dear books! Here I come...
Kylie Minogue ~ So Now Goodbye
Remember when I saw you for the first time I never thought you'd be mine Then we went ahead and fell in love Heaven was a common ground We were never coming down The two of us we had more than enough You and I are not the same To you love is just a game Things will never be the same again
So now goodbye This time I will be gone goodbye Stayed for way too long Started out with trust But it isn't just about the good times baby
Remember all the promises we swore to Can't say I didn't warn you How I did adore you way back then (I did adore you adore you) Ohhhhh But you broke a solemn vow Ha! you're paying for it now Wouldn't you expect more from a friend You and I are not the same To you love is just a game Things will never be the same again
So now goodbye This time I will be gone goodbye I stayed for way too long I don't need you now And I am oh so tired of excuses baby
Goodbye
This time I will be gone goodbye Stayed for way to long this time It all started out with trust But it isn't about the good times baby
Jennifer Lopez ~ Ain't It Funny
It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be But there are facts in our lives We can never change Just tell me that you understand and you feel the same This perfect romance that I've created in my mind I'd live a thousand lives Each one with you right by my side But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance And so it seems like we'll never have the chance
Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny And you can't move on even though you try Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel Oh, I wish this could be real Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life And you don't want to face what's wrong or right Ain't it strange how fate can play a part In the story of your heart
Sometimes I think that a true love can never be I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain And I don't think that I could face it all again I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you And I no longer doubt You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid
Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny And you can't move on even though you try Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel Oh, I wish this could be real Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life And you don't want to face what's wrong or right Ain't it strange how fate can play a part In the story of your heart
I locked away my heart But you just set it free Emotions I felt Held me back from what my life should be I pushed you far away And yet you stayed with me I guess this means That you and me were meant to be(?)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado ~ Broken Strings
Let me hold you For the last time It's the last chance to feel again But you broke me Now I can't feel anything
When I love you, It's so untrue I can't even convince myself When I'm speaking, It's the voice of someone else
Oh it tears me up I try to hold on, but it hurts too much I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay
You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh the truth hurts And lies worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before
Oh what are we doing We are turning into dust Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire When there's nothing left to save It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late
Oh it tears me up I try to hold on, but it hurts too much I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay
You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel I can't tell something that ain't real
Well the truth hurts, And lies worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before
But we're running through the fire When there's nothing left to save It's like chasing the very last train When we both know it's too late (too late)
You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel I cant tell you something that ain't real
Well truth hurts, And lies worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time It's the last chance to feel again
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Swing Out Sisters ~ Am I The Same Girl?
Why don't you stop And look me over Am i the same girl you used to know?
Why don't you stop And think it over Am i the same girl who knew your soul?
I'm the one you want And i'm the one you need I'm the one you love I'm the one you used to meet
Around the corner Everyday We would meet And slip away But we were much too young To love each other this way
Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am) Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am)
Why don't you stop And look me over Am i the same girl you used to know? Why don't you stop And think it over Am i the same girl who knew your soul?
I'm the one you hurt And i'm the one you need I'm the one who cried I'm the one you used to meet But you are pretending you don't care But the fire is still there Now we are no longer too young To love each other this way
Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am) Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am)
Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am) Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am)
Have you ever felt the need for something more With every week comes scratching at your door Have you ever stopped and wonder what it is you're searching for Push your luck too far with me But if you push it any further You won't have any
Am i the same girl? Am i the same girl? (yes i am, yes i am)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A continuation of flogging...
Ms Soon's ROM @ Dallas...
I am so happy for your found happiness, my dear friend.... =)
Chau Chau's Kong Long Day
In response to the Devil-misu, here's a cake fit for fuming dinosaurs... presenting the Dino-misu... complete with 黄 dinos in the desertstorm dessert... Yes... 黄 Kong Long lived up to expectations by blowing cocoa dust all over! =p
What I got back in return... never thought I'll love braised pig intestines! Really comforting soul food... reminiscent of my fav bak ku teh... * counting the consumed calories post-meal * =p
Delicious Taiwanese beef noodles....
Food with family & friends in Dec... birthdays and all... Some feelings cannot be expressed in words so... I'll let pics do the talking... Thank You. =)
The Devil-misu.... tiramisu with a twist... Thanks for the movie & birthday treat, Chau Chau! =) Really tasty & spicy... seafood aglio olio.... * drool * My "birthday treat".... haha... the icy cold strawberry... Really enjoyed this one... it's really "appetizing" =p Cheese baked rice! I have not had this in a long, long while.... Thanks for the lovely cake! Reminds me of chocolate panna cotta... =) Giraffe dessert cakes... in beautiful presentation.... Prawn Tagliatelle (tahl-yuh-tel-ee)...
Pizza!
Really lovely cookies!
Max Brenner's choc fondue with fruits and comforting warm cake... one word... chocolicious!
The Melicious Birthday... glad you enjoyed the sinfully sweet choc ganache marshmallow cream melted cheesecake! =)
To take the red or the blue pill? The brown or the purple cake? (The culprit's the purple one? Hmmmz...)
My dear mummy's birthday! Hee... cake was kinda flourily disastrous... =p My dearest doggie's seventh muffin birthday! Dear old granny's 93rd birthday.... =)
My sinfully superindulgent chocolate oozing cakes...
Another variation of chocolate molten cakes for Christmas....
Christmas pizza works of my creative cousins... =)
Christmas choc cheesecake & chocolate fondue time again!
Christmas goodies from friends and family!
Japanese dining @ Kushin Bo... was filled to the brim! Loved the sushi and mochi... in addition to all the snow crabs & teppanyaki meat... * blurp *
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Soul Decision - Ooh It's Kinda Crazy
If you want my love Help me heal the pain in my eyes
Ohh it's kinda crazy I've been thinkin' maybe Gotta get you out of my mind First you say you want me Now your memories haunt me Why don't you just give me a sign
I thought I had someone that I could fall in love with Someone who would treat me right So I tried to be so kind I thought for sure I'd make you mine but something's weighing up on my mind
Why don't you take my hand And help me understand Cause I can't figure out What you're thinkin' about Why don't you let me know Don't want to be alone Going out of my mind Waiting for the day You'll say you'll be mine
If you want my love (Why don't you show me then) Help me heal the pain in my eyes (I know you want me now) If you want my love Why don't you tell me Cause I've had enough of Plastic people wasting my time
* Repeat chorus *
Thought I had, someone that I could really care for Someone who won't waste my time (Don't lead me on) But now I find that you lie You're always out with other guys Is that the way you're playing with my mind?
Why don't you take my hand And help me understand Cause I can't figure out What you're thinking about Why don't you let me know Don't want to be alone Going out of my mind Waiting for the day that You'll say you'll be mine
If you want my love (Why don't you show me then) Help me heal the pain in my eyes (I know you want me now) If you want my love Why don't you tell me Cause I've had enough of Plastic people wasting my time
* Repeat Chorus *
Showed you all that I am And I treated you well Gave you half of my heart But you tore it to hell Give me someone who won't lie And won't cheat on me Baby up in my room That's exactly what you asked of me Baby if you want my love If you want my love
Oh, yeah then why don't you just Take my hand and help me understand Going out of my mind Waiting for the day that You'll say you'll be mine Baby if you want my love If you want my love I've had enough I've had enough
Ohh, it's kinda crazy (I've had enough) Gotta get you out of my mind (I've had enough) First you say you want me (I've had enough) Why don't you just give me a sign
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Kylie Minogue ~ Dancefloor
Good times, bad times, baby, you're in trouble You stole my heart and you've given me up And we're not even friends so how can we be lovers? I want to know the truth 'cause I've had enough I'm sick and tired of pleasing you Have I had your love? Is that the best you can do? U can dream of changing my mind But you're wasting your time 'cause if you think you've got me right, just watch me
On the dancefloor Gonna lose it in the music On the dancefloor Got my body, going to use it On the dancefloor The best that you never had but now you've lost me So come on watch me getting over you
Had your chance but baby, you blew it U never loved me and baby, you knew it And every time that you messed with my mind I still believed in you 'cause I've had enough I'm sick and tired of pleasing you Have I had your love? Is that the best you can do? You can dream of changing my mind But you're way out of line 'cause if you think you've got me Boy, just watch me
On the dancefloor Gonna lose it in the music On the dancefloor Got my body, going to use it On the dancefloor The best that you never had but now you've lost me So come on watch me getting over you
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Alas... back to the melodramatic me... just finished watching 2 dramas, Miss No Good [不良笑花] & The Little Nyonya 【小娘惹】... now my eyes are all puffy... haha... (I know I am not the only one =p).... the former a modern romance comedy drama about the pairing of a fashion seemingly aloof stylist (Pan Wei Bo) with the ultimate fashion disastrous girl (Rainie Yang) with a lighthearted ending (leading to otherwise sane ladies saying 我要呼呼 Woohoo! =p) and the latter being the local drama of the year with a stellar cast... a nostalgic drama in an old fashioned Peranakan setting with lots of heart-rending, never-ending suffering, evil plotting, lots of cursing the baddies (everyone hates demonic Robert Zhang to the core, but someone I know of actually idolizes him rite... much to my exasperation as usual.. =p) and with a much heavier, realistic ending... so sad... hmmz I wonder which role can we all relate to the most in real life... alas... all the melancholy is getting to me... back to reality now! Haha but in the meanwhile, thought I'll share the lyrics to 2 of their theme songs here...
[不良笑花] 片尾曲插曲 楊丞琳 ~ 帶我走
每次我總 一個人走 Everytime, it's only me walking alone.
交叉路口 自己生活 Crossing the intersection and living by myself.
這次你卻說帶我走 This time however, you said you'll take me away
某個角落 就你和我 to a corner where it's only me and you.
像土壤抓緊花的迷惑 Like the soil grasping the flower's confusion.
像天空纏綿雨的洶湧 Like the sky sticking to rain's turbulence.
在你的身後 By your side
計算的步伐每個背影 counting every step, shadow,
每個場景 and setting
都有發過的夢 that had once dreamt.
帶我走 到遙遠的以後 Take me away to a remote future.
帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 Take me away (where) loneliness is self rotated.
帶我走 就算我的愛 Take me away even if my love,
你的自由 都將成為泡沫 your freedom, will all become foam.
我不怕 帶我走 I'm not scared, take me away.
每次我總 獨自遠走 Everytime, it's always me going far away alone.
抱著緘默 不皺眉頭 Holding onto loneliness, not scowling.
這次你卻說一起走 This time however, you said to go together.
彼此溫柔 從此以後 Our warmth from now on is
像土壤抓緊花的迷惑 like the soil grasping the flower's confusion.
像天空纏綿雨的洶湧 Like the sky sticking to rain's turbulence.
在你的身後 By your side
計算的步伐每個背影 counting every step, shadow,
每個場景 and setting
都有發過的夢 that had once dreamt.
帶我走 到遙遠的以後 Take me away to a remote future.
帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 Take me away (where) loneliness is self rotated.
帶我走 就算我的愛 Take me away even if my love,
你的自由 都將成為泡沫 your freedom, will all become foam.
我不怕 帶我走 I'm not scared, take me away.
白馬溜過 漆黑盡頭 The white horse slips away and it's the end of darkness.
潮汐襲來 浪花顫動 The tides are attacking, the ocean is trembling.
凝在海岸結成了墨 Oh~ Staring at the seacoast forming into ink. Oh~
薔薇朝向 草原氣球 The rose is (facing) towards the balloon.
郵差傳來 一地彩虹 The postman arrives with a rainbow.
刻在心中拍打著脈搏~ The throbbing of a slap is engraved into (my) heart.
帶我走 到遙遠的以後 Take me away to a remote future.
帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 Take me away (where) loneliness is self rotated.
愿意合上眼才能美梦无边 Willing to close your eyes and you'll be able to dream boundlessly
别让悔熏乌了从前 Don't let regret cloud the past
也许碎片才能让回忆展颜 Perhaps the broken pieces can make past memories continue
何妨瓷花拼凑明天 Where porcelain flower assembles tomorrow
谁带我寻获幸福的模 Who leads me to search for the happiness mold
却自己谜中困锁 but landed himself in distress
谁为我留下缱绻的天涯 Who leaves behind the deep and unwavering horizon for me
信物是抹晚霞 The faith token is like the fading sunset glow
Chorus: 思念如燕它飞舞舌尖 The missing for you like a swallow dancing in the air with its tip of tongue
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜 If it is true love which blend with the taste of bittersweet
意念婆娑时间里推磨 The idea whirls and turning the millstone within time
追随到何处才结果 When will the chasing end?
燕如针线在青空缝编 Swallow like needle and thread sewing in the open air
几幅女红将以泪缀点 To make a needlework stitched together with tears of heroine
誓言斑驳情雾只是经过 The promise is a flaw and feeling of emotions is merely a process
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜 I walk through wind and rain with graceful steps
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A new year... it was my birthday... and I'm one year older...
2008 has ended and with the passing of the new year, I am 27! Gosh... I still cannot believe how time flies... When I was 17, when my birthday still meant everything to me... the day I would turn 27 seemed so faraway and unreal. Never would I expect to want to have a quiet one this year... I just could not seem to feel excited about it... maybe it's a late 20s self identity crisis... maybe I was unwell... maybe I was just too tired... I just felt like a totally different person... more subdued...
I just had some downtime with friends and family... which was nice in its own way... I guess that's what I needed... dinner, drinks, singing and lotsa laughter! =) Of course, who could forget the poo-poo complete with flies nestled in a pretty box from my dear cousin and melicious fren? Haha... thanks for making me laff so much! Hmmmz did I happen to spot someone familiar in the crowd on New Year's day?! What a small world indeed...
I really appreciate all the wishes, lovely gifts, company and good food that I have gotten this December. * muacks to u people! * At the stroke of midnight, I received a couple of wishes, which was nice, really... including an apologetic wish from my sista in China (still waiting for my OCK curry puff wor), my nemesis TPH bro's rowdy proclamation of 'The Jiao Day'... haha... followed by my close friends & others, which was nice, really... the feeling of being remembered in small ways... it's the thought that really counts. =) (I'm not surprised at all that you forgot, but it's alright... it no longer matters now... 'Happy New Year' does not count... maybe you even did it on purpose... sigh...)
Looking back on the past year in retrospective, reflecting on things I could have done better and things I should not have done... my merits and failings as a person... I guess 2008 ain't perfect... there are 2 ways I can look at it... it's either a year clocked full of disappointments... or I could say it's a year full of surprises and one that I've learnt a lot from. I prefer to choose to think in a positive manner, no doubt with the constant help of people who are concerned for me, people who have sensed the weakness & sadness in me, but may not have witnessed me at my most emotionally vulnerable self...
Maybe I'm too prideful at times... I may often appear upbeat, cheerful and a bit cranky... but I guess it's my way of escaping... choosing to reflect on the best bits... instead of dwelling on the worst.. the ability to sense what's really within a person beneath the exterior and the urge to change something bad into good... BUT it's also this very same trait that leads to unnecessary lingering sentimental nostalgia of memories that should have been discarded long ago... and it's sometimes impossible to change some things... BUT I am after all, human. Some things are easier said than done... what a contradiction I am. My real bro told me that I should never start my sentences with BUT, because it just stands for defensive self-denial... a bad habit which I have kicked more or less... BUT 2 BUTS in a sentence? Contradictory, I guess. :p
I guess time will heal with my own determination... with that, comes the realization that people around me are waiting for me to be happy once again. I am truly thankful to my friends who care and worry so much for me... I guess I would prefer to describe what I went through as 'experiences', rather than 'mistakes'... because who does not ever make mistakes in their lives? Nobody's life is free from mistakes... you can erase a pencil mark, but you cannot really erase parts of your life even as much as you would wish to, because it's what you have went through that makes you part of who you are today. I would rather have lived my life, rather than not.... Would you rather have experienced joy and then followed by disappointment, or never have known joy all your life?
Rather than lamenting that life's unfair or people have had it easier than you, through the years, I have come to realise that every experience is there in our lives for a reason... for us to learn something out from it if we put positivity to perspective... this coming from a person naturally prone to pessimism... I believe everyone has their own difficulties... whining about things may help to release pent-up frustration for a while, but the most important thing is to realise that nobody can make the change except YOU. We may not be able change some of the things that happen to us, but what we are able to control are our own perspectives, choices and reactions. That's why people often fail to realise that our biggest enemy is not others, but ourselves. So very true at times. We often talk about people's idiosyncrasies, without realising that we may be like that too and that we often lose to no other than ourselves. We often forget we do have a choice to some extent.
I may have been in a daze and lost direction for quite a while... in fact, I also did not know what came over me... it's logic-defying... I have never felt so out of control. Actually I hated myself for it, and most probably I still do... maybe the wall I've built around myself has crumbled for a while... but as one philosophical friend put it, I should not beat myself over it and learn how to handle complexities better in future... I am still repairing the damage done... indeed, just as I've just learnt in class, satisficing (satisfying by sacrificing) is never an optimal choice... it's not what everyone wants, it's only the closest to what you can have. I think I've grown up... I am more aware of my actions and the impact they have on people. To hurt, whether intentionally or otherwise and to get hurt in return... is all part of life... we just have to learn how to deal with it and move on... high time to leave it all behind us in the old year called 2008... the pain and the hatred... and embark on the new year of 2009 where hopefully better things await us! Woohoo huhu! =p
Haha for a change after so many rich cakes! Multi-layer mini chiffon cakes! Thanks gers for the annual angbao! This year's in such cute packaging! =) Thanks gers! I lurrrve this! Beautiful scent in my fav purple!! Yes... indeed... a lot has changed over the years... but some things remain the same! hee... * admires self reflection in the mirror * Thanks for motivating me, cousin! I really appreciate it! =) Thanks Dawnie for the meeeow pendant... =) Lovely Korean chopsticks and stuff! Thanks ger! Thanks bro, who knows I just cannot stop eating choc chip cookies! =p He's thinking "I did not do that!" "Hmmzz... as smelly as mine??" He says Thank You! It's all his now! Hohohoo...
since 28 September, 2008
