Been feelin' down recently and random thoughts are running through wildly in my head... so I feel like I have to put them down in words before I go mad...

Read my facebook horoscope today and as usual, it's pretty true...


"Feel free to pat yourself on the back if no one else does it for you. Paying attention to the details of the big picture continues as a number of important changes go on around you. The end result is what's important; how you get there is secondary. Unanswered questions may cause you to re-evaluate your beliefs."

For the chinese zodiac one: "Try to single out those of your acquaintances who deserve to be retained and cultivated; no pity for nuisances! At work, you must beware of the risk of catching at shadows. Opportunities will present themselves to you in more than one field; what's necessary will be not to let your chance go by out of carelessness. It would be time to ask for help if you cannot manage the situation alone."

It does catch some ball with me.... been feelin' oh so restless physically.... I guess it's partly due to the torn knee cartilage pain that has been haunting me especially this week... it's gotten so bad that it hurts all the time.... I can't sleep, can't eat, can't walk, can't run.... :( Due to recent complexities, I can feel the powerful surge of negative energy runnin' through me and been thinking a lot... worst thing is that I cannot exercise to vent out my frustrations! Arrrgh. I guess I juz have to put it to some positive use like completing my to-do tasks!

Emotionally wise, it's been a roller coaster ride and I just feel let down by human nature.... A sense of déjà vu hit me.... once again... and a sense of emptiness hits me.... lookin' back, would I have done things differently if I could reverse time? Maybe yes, but I guess I have just learnt another lesson on life... for real this time... Like what the previous day's horoscope was saying...
"Even if u end up back at d starting point, u feel as if you've been somewhere. You're pushing to get ahead, but u might b frustrated. Put your negative energy to good use."

As one close fren of mine reminded me again... "Learn to let go of something, and it's meant to be yours, it'll come back eventually." A philosophy that I live by.... coz it's so true...

Juz a thought... helping people without any expectation of returns is what I like and do not mind doing. A sincere and simple 'thank u' from the bottom of the heart would be a nice bonus though if I get it. I'll feel that everything I've done is worth it, even if I have sacrificed some really important things that matter to me the most. If not, at least I know I've done my part.

What I do not expect to get instead is the nonsensical behaviour of piling all the blame on to others when things go awry. If it's partly someone's fault, of coz the person cannot expect to be absolved of all blame; but pushing all responsibility for everything and anything that happens on that person is a selfish masquerade in play... Why sit down and wait till things happen, then blame it all on someone else who does all the work? Isn't it better to play your own part and take more initiative? Once again... a sense of déjà vu.... I m thinking we ain't young anymore, how can such childishness and lack of common sense still exist?! It's high time to grow up man.... really high time... Maybe the issue is not lack of sense, but the want to find an excuse for own behaviour...

I guess what's important is that I have done my best, given what was at stake and I can proudly say that out. Ignoring what others say about you when your conscience is clear is something I have endured and will endure once again. Through experiences, I'm glad to know that I have true friends who are nice to me just simply coz they want to, who really understand me, give me their 50 cents' worth point of view and stand by me when it matters.

True friends are not people who just wanna have fun with you, but are also people who are willing to ride out hard times together with you. To my closest frens who have helped, encouraged me; given me hope and light through all my emotional ups and downs, Thank You =) It means so much to me. Love u people!

The way to really get something is to make effort and earn it, and not stand by and get jealous of someone else's fruit...